LAND PITINAN, BANGLADESH

March 30, 2019

“I was bullied back home since primary school. I think the main reason was because I’m very quiet and can’t help but use formal language when I talk to everyone including my friends. I also loved helping people because it brought me genuine joy but everyone always thought I had ulterior motives, was putting on an act, or simply being fake because to them, my personality wasn’t normal. I remember in primary school they used to pull my hair a lot, or beat me. But the peak of the bullying was in middle school when they put me in a room with some girls who hated me and one of them took an ink pen and splashed it all over my white school shirt, and as she did that she screamed “I don’t know whose fault this is, mine because I came to the school or yours because you’re here.” Obviously the teacher scolded her and told her to clean up my shirt but that incident and those words stuck with me ever since. The dirt still has the stain on it, I guess she didn’t do a very good job of cleaning it up. I was very depressed during this time and on some days I couldn’t even study because I was so burdened and overwhelmed by everything that was happening at school. My parents knew and wanted to help but couldn’t do anything because the children that bullied me had powerful parents. I had one friend as well who always told me she would stick by my side but at the time of the bullying, she would support the bullies and I felt so betrayed. It doesn’t matter now though and we’re still friends because I know she’s human and she had to save herself first. I really can’t blame her for it, the social jungle is a scary place to bear nobility in. My saving grace was probably my school counselor because she told me one day to think about my situation and write down all the things I should change about myself and all the things I shouldn’t change, in order to stop the bullying. But because I had really lost sight of myself I asked my friends what they thought I need to change, and they told me nothing. Told me not to change anything at all. This was so powerful for me because at that time I think I was bullied to the point where I thought it was my fault and I was really feeling suicidal.”